When Your Politics Needs a Spray Tan, You’ve Already Lost the Plot
When politics turns into cosplay, you know the ideas have run out.
I don’t usually talk about a politician’s face.
Policies? Sure.
Voting records? All day.
But foundation cream?
Yet here we are.
Because when a grown man starts looking like he fell asleep in a tanning booth to impress his fan club… that’s not “appearance.”
That’s branding.
And branding tells you everything.
Lately Pierre Poilievre has shown up on camera looking… different.
Not “new haircut” different.
Not “bad lighting” different.
More like “why is his face two shades darker than his hands?” different.
The guy who used to talk with his hands like an auctioneer suddenly sits stiff as a department store mannequin. No gestures. No movement. Careful framing.
Like he’s guarding a secret.
Then the hands sneak into frame…
And boom.
Face: pumpkin spice.
Hands: February in Ottawa.
You don’t need CSI. You just need eyeballs.
Here’s the part people miss
This isn’t vanity.
It’s strategy.
He’s in the middle of a leadership review.
Five or six thousand party die-hards in Alberta deciding if he stays boss.
And that crowd?
Not exactly the yoga-and-kombucha wing of Canadian politics.
It’s the Reform Party nostalgia tour.
The PPC leftovers.
The “wish we were Texas” crowd.
And a lot of them practically worship Donald Trump.
So what do you do if your base idolizes an orange American strongman?
Apparently…
You try to look like him.
Think about that for a second
Not better ideas.
Not better policy.
Not better leadership.
A colour match.
That’s like repainting your pickup truck red because you think it’ll make you drive like a Ferrari.
Buddy… it’s still a pickup.
And here’s the kicker
This same guy lectures everyone else about optics.
Mocks suits.
Mocks hair.
Mocks image politics.
Meanwhile he’s backstage with what looks suspiciously like “Autumn Harvest Bronzer No. 3.”
You can’t preach authenticity while blending foundation.
That’s not leadership.
That’s cosplay.
Why it matters
Because when someone manipulates the small stuff… their image, their symbolism, their “look”… it tells you something bigger:
They’re selling a costume.
Not a country.
If you’ll fake the surface, what else are you willing to fake?
That’s the real question.
And no amount of spray tan fixes that.
Source note:
Inspired by commentary and publicly available video clips discussing recent changes in Poilievre’s on-camera appearance. Observations and wording rebuilt independently.
Canada Strong Movement… House Rule & Disclosure
Canada Strong exists to defend Canadian sovereignty, democratic norms, and economic independence… without imported talking points or borrowed outrage.
House rule… Facts and good-faith discussion are welcome. I use AI tools to help turn my spoken drafts into clear writing. I’m 73, my hands shake, and I type with two fingers… so I speak first, then edit.
The ideas, positions, and final message are mine.
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But how many people look that deep into it. They accept the fake smile and tan. He gives me the creeps and he hides behind always bringing his wife and kids. Sure sometimes but he never goes anywhere without the wife but she never gets to speak like Mulroney's wife did or Trudeau's wife.
It is bad enough to allow your base to identify -to any degree- with the MAGA crowd. When Pierre stood up in the house of commons sporting the same spraypaint, including the tan lines around the edge of his face, he took the deepest dive possible in the esteem of the nation.