The Voice in Your Head Isn’t You
Letters to My Son… If I Had One by Fred Ferguson (GeezerWise)
Dear Son,
If I could only pass along one truth about the mind—just one—it would be this:
The voice in your head isn’t you.
You know the one.
That voice that shouts when you’re angry.
The one that whispers shame when you screw up.
The one that narrates your day with judgments, fear, and comparisons like a bitter old sportscaster who thinks he knows everything.
I used to think that voice was me.
Especially when I got sober. The voice got louder at first. More vicious. More clever.
It told me I’d never stay clean.
It told me I’d already failed too many times.
Sometimes it told me I was special—other times it told me I was worthless.
It didn’t matter which story it used… the goal was the same: keep me stuck in my head and out of my heart.
Here’s something I learned the hard way:
Ego doesn’t care if you think you’re better than everyone or worse than everyone—it just wants to make everything about you.
And that voice in your head?
It’s ego with a megaphone, broadcasting fear disguised as logic.
I had to learn not to react to it. Especially when I was angry.
In fact, I’ll tell you the truth—my first thoughts are my worst thoughts 100% of the time if they come out of rage.
That voice in those moments is the oldest part of me—the part that learned to survive by getting loud, defensive, mean, and stoned.
It took years to notice the space between the voice and the choice.
But once I found that space, I started to heal.
If you’re ever hurting, and that inner voice starts running its mouth, let me offer you this:
Don’t believe everything it says.
You are not the voice.
You are the one listening to it.
And when you listen with awareness—not reaction—you get your power back.
Because here’s the beautiful part:
That voice may never shut up…
…but it loses control the moment you stop giving it the wheel.
If I had a son, I’d want him to hear this…
That voice in your head isn’t the enemy. It’s just scared.
You don’t need to silence it.
You just need to stop mistaking it for who you are.
Love,
Fred [GeezerWise]
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