The Days I Didn’t Think I’d Make It
Dear Son,
There were days early on in my sobriety — and even some years in — when I didn’t think I had what it took.
Not just to stay sober, but to stay with it. I didn’t know who I was without the chaos, the shame, or the numbing routine I’d leaned on for most of my life.
One of the hardest things no one warns you about is how much time you suddenly have when you stop drinking.
Too much time.
Too much thinking.
Too much of you, alone with yourself.
I needed something to fill that space — something safe. Something that wouldn’t lead me backward.
That’s when a curious thing happened:
I found a computer. And I had no idea how to use it.
But something about it felt… promising. Like a machine that didn’t care what I’d done or how long I’d wasted. It just waited for me to press a key.
Learning to use that computer gave me something more than distraction.
It gave me a mission.
It gave me proof that I could learn again — even at my lowest.
Eventually, I started creating things. At first, it was just for me. Then I wondered… what if I could sell what I made?
That one small thread — from lost to learning to earning — would change everything.
If you’re in a place right now where you feel useless, or like you’ve got too much time to think…
Just know this:
Time is only dangerous when it’s left empty.
Fill it with curiosity, not fear.
Start small. Stay curious.
If I had a son, I’d want him to hear this…
📌 This letter was written by Fred Ferguson (GeezerWise). If it spoke to you, I’d love to hear back—just hit reply.
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—Fred [GeezerWise]