🧠 The Day I Realized My Computer Was Part of My Sobriety

Part of the Sober & Wired series by Fred Ferguson (GeezerWise)

(Yes, I'm Dead Serious — and So Were the Guys Who Nicknamed Me “Format Freddy.”)

When I first got sober on December 15, 1993, I didn’t know who I was without a bottle in my hand.

I’d spent decades destroying my life — and now I had to figure out what came next.
No career. No real hobbies. Just a lot of wreckage to sort through.

And then came the thing I never expected to save me:
An Intel 486 computer running MS-DOS and Windows 3.1.

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I didn’t get it because I loved tech.

I got it because I was desperate to keep my mind busy.

Back then, staying sober meant fighting off the shakes, the voices, the shame — and just getting through the day without giving in.
So I started tinkering. And failing. A lot.

I screwed up that machine so often, I had to reformat the hard drive almost weekly just to get back to square one.

I’m not exaggerating. I nuked that thing over and over again.

Eventually, the guys in my AA group gave me a nickname:

“Format Freddy.”

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What they didn’t see was this:

Every time I reinstalled the OS…
Every time I figured out how to fix something I broke…
Every time I sat at that desk and didn’t pick up a drink…

I was building a new life.

Sure, I was cussing and sweating and yelling at error messages.
But I was also learning patience.
I was learning problem-solving.
I was learning that I could do hard things without escaping.

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That computer was my sponsor in disguise.

It didn’t talk back.
It didn’t hand me a Big Book.
But it gave me something crucial in early sobriety:

A sense of progress.

Even if it came one reformat at a time.

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And that’s why I say I’m “Sober & Wired.”

Because while the meetings saved my life —
The machine gave me something to live for.

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If you’re newly sober and trying to figure out what comes next...
Find something that keeps your hands busy and your mind curious.
It doesn’t have to be a computer.
But it does have to matter to you.

For me, it was that old clunky beige box.
I still remember the sound it made when it booted up.

Hope doesn’t always look holy.
Sometimes it looks like MS-DOS and a pile of floppy disks.

—Fred (GeezerWise)
aka Format Freddy

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📌 This letter was written by Fred Ferguson (GeezerWise). If it spoke to you, I’d love to hear back—just hit reply.

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