I Didn’t Know What to Call It Back Then… But Now I Do
Same road. Different direction... by Fred Ferguson - GeezerWise
In 1993, I sobered up.
I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t have a “life plan.” I just knew that if I kept living the way I was living, I wouldn’t be living much longer.
So I followed the one guy I trusted, an old drinking buddy who had gotten clean and stayed that way for five years. He told me what worked for him: detox, AA, meetings, treatment, and a hell of a lot of surrender.
And so that’s what I did.
Phase 1. Phase 2. Phase 3. And beyond.
Back then, nobody was calling it “identity shifting.” We didn’t have fancy words for it. But that’s exactly what happened. The old Fred, the one who reached for a drink instead of a solution, had to die so a new Fred could be born.
And I’ve just recently come across a term that puts language around what took me years to figure out:
Identity Shifting.
Let’s talk about what that means—and how it might help you, too.
The Real Reason You Keep Ending Up at Square One
Have you ever busted your ass to make a big change—lose weight, make money, quit a bad habit—only to find yourself right back where you started?
You’re not alone. That loop is familiar to just about everyone I’ve ever met.
We think it’s about habits. About willpower. About needing to fix ourselves.
But what if the real reason is deeper than that?
What if the reason we keep backsliding is that we’re trying to change our behaviour while dragging around the same old identity?
You can’t do your way into a new life if you still believe you’re the same broken version of yourself.
Your Identity Isn’t Yours (At Least, Not Yet)
Here’s the hard truth: most of us never chose our identities.
We were shaped—by parents, teachers, TV shows, religions, trauma, you name it.
Maybe you were told you had “fat genes,” or that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” or that “you’re just not cut out for success.” Those messages get stuck. They calcify. And before long, they start sounding like truth.
Even when you try to change, that old identity fights to pull you back. Why? Because your subconscious wants what’s familiar, not what’s better.
And if you believe deep down that you're the kind of person who always messes things up or never gets ahead... your mind will keep you living into that story.
So What Do You Do?
You don’t fix the old you.
You replace it.
This is what I had to do in sobriety. I didn’t patch up the drunk version of myself. I buried him. Then I started building the man I wanted to become.
You can do the same thing.
Here’s how.
Step 1: Breathe
Seriously. Deep belly breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.
When you breathe deeply and intentionally, you calm your nervous system and start releasing stored tension—emotional trauma included.
It’s simple. It’s free. It works.
Step 2: Face the Past
Take time to reflect on the moments that shaped your current identity.
Who hurt you? What beliefs got planted in you before you were old enough to question them?
Write them down.
Not to wallow in them, but to see them clearly and say, “These don’t belong to me anymore.”
Step 3: Describe the New You
This part is key.
Write a short paragraph describing the person you’ve decided to become—in present tense.
Not “I want to…”
Not “Someday I’ll…”
But “I am…”
You’re not lying to yourself. You’re stepping into a version of you that’s already possible, already present just on a different track.
And when you hit a moment of choice, ask:
“What would the new me do right now?”
Then do that.
Step 4: Live as the New You, Every Day
No fixing. No beating yourself up. No dwelling on what’s broken.
Just show up daily as the person you’re becoming.
At first, it feels like playacting. But soon, it becomes your default setting.
And the universe?
It catches up. Because it always reflects back who you believe you are.
Final Thought: Don’t Fix It. Shift It.
I didn’t know I was “shifting identities” back in 1993. But looking back now… I see that’s exactly what happened.
I stopped being a man trying to quit drinking…
and started being a sober man.
That’s a world of difference.
You don’t need to fix your old self. You’re not broken.
You just need to step into the version of you who was buried under all that conditioning—and give him or her a voice.
Do it for you.
Do it for the people who count on you.
Hell—do it for the joy of finally living your own damn life.
You can shift.
You will shift.
Let’s go.
—Fred Ferguson
GeezerWise
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Tags:
#IdentityShifting #SobrietyJourney #PersonalTransformation
#GeezerWiseLetters #MindsetReset #SecondChances